Do you know a liar?
I do.
It's a person within my close circle.
He tells lies all the time.
He tells huge lies and stupid, pointless lies with the same unflinching gaze.
He gets really angry if he is doubted.
He has no word.
He is often caught out.
He brazens it out usually - "So what!" kind of thing.
He blames others (including me) for forcing him to lie!!
That drives me nuts.
He promises faithfully that he will never, ever lie again.
He does.
Again and again and again.
What to do?
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- Mairéad
- Hello, my name is Mairéad. I live and work in Ireland. My interests include: education in general; IT; on-line learning; Special Educational Needs (SEN); educational reform; learning-support provision; the inclusion of parents in their child's learning; the professional development of teachers. Outside of work, I am interested in lots of things, e.g. football, the web, reading, socializing, current affairs, keeping up with family and friends, DVDs... The person I most admire? That's an easy one - a famous Cork man - Roy Keane.
15 comments:
This sounds like a total psychological drag. It's a difficult call if it is a family member. A heart to heart sit down might work. If it's a friend you can ditch them.
You're fast on the draw, John. I just had that posted. Yes, it is a total psychological and emotional drag. Many, many, many heart to heart sit downs have been had over MANY years, promises made and then broken. It is family and the ditch might still be needed?????
It sounds to me like you've tried everything but the ditch.As hard as it might be maybe it's time?Definition of madness and all that.
Hi Devin. You're right. I really have. The ditch is a bitch though.... then again maybe I need to make a last "ditch" attempt... tough love and all that? I'm so involved that I can't see the wood for the trees.
What's the definition of madness you mentioned? Ignoring your absolute gut instinct = madness? I know it is, but there's more than me involved so it's tricky.
Mairéad,
I refer the the old saw about doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
By all means leave no stone unturned especially if it's family. But there'll come a point when the lies and heartbreak will cause more pain than jettisoning that person.I do not give up on people easily but sometimes the degree of delusion is such that you would be harming your own well being by sticking around.
All joking aside my former Mother in Law was someone who traded in a similar currency.
Thanks, Devin. You're right, it's all the same old same old - and yet I'm still surprised.... That's a part of it of course - feeling stupid for falling for the lies again. Thanks for your words. (Lots of deep sighs!)
Tell him you are going to break off all contact if he lies to you again, be serious about it. Lay it on the line. Then if he has any love for you he won't want to lose you. If he doesn't...well then he's picked his path.
Thanks FMC, I've done that two or three times, but probably not forcibly enough. He obviously didn't believe me. I will do it again and mean it this time. I was really hurt the last times but this time I'm just so angry with him for putting so much in jeopordy. Maybe I'll be able to use that anger and show him that I mean business this time.
I can't believe I'm taking this crap, I'd be the first to advise someone else to cop on and ditch this creep.
Thank-you.
It's never easy with family, darlin', easy for me to say, harder still to do. Either way, I wish you well.
Thank-you sincerely FMC, Dev, John.
He needs professional help. He may be dangerously insecure. Tell him to get that help, or else.
Thanks Conan. I did that the last time. It is an on-going thing. I think I will pull no punches this time. Nothing to lose and all that......
It's classic sociopathic behaviour. The best thing you can do is get this person out of your life, if at all possible. Take it from someone who knows.
Thanks, John. Last chance café here.
Can't offer advice on this. Not enough information. I'd need to know what kind of lies are being told, and why, but that's a bit personal obviously.
It's obviously more serious than just an irritating habit.
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